I'm just trying to help me like you

Muhahaha. I have written the most offensive song EVAR! For now, you get lyrics -

I'm just trying to help me like you

I called you up
to let you know
some things that I've learned since I let you go
well for one, you're much better than her
yes it's true

but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things that you
could. choose. to. do.

there's one thing about her I adore
yeah her stomach is flatter than
flatter than yours

oh don't you get
an attitude
since when is honesty being rude?
at the end of the day I'm just trying to help...
...me like you

like before
when we'd go out
and I'd block the cake you could do without
I can't let you weigh more than 100 pounds!

but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things that you
could. choose. to. do.

like learn to pick up for your man
and have you considered a
spray on ta-an?
spray on tan!

I kinda want
to be with you
as long as you change
a thing or two
I recognize
you're sorta cool
I might even try
to be true to you

just take this time
to exercise
focus on slimming
those pearly thighs
if you do that
it'd be the bomb
and you'd look a
little less like your mom!

I saw you out
the other day
with your new guy did he choose to pay
for your meal?
i would never do that!

so when you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things that you
could. choose. to. do.

like could you get rid of your man?
'cuz how can he treat you as
well. as. I. can?

I kinda want
to be with you
as long as you change
a thing or two
I recognize
you're sorta cool
I might even try
to be true to you

just take this time
to exercise
focus on slimming
those pearly thighs
if you do that
it'd be the bomb
and you'd look a
little less like your mom!



- Jesse Kates / the Sexy Accident > listen on iTunes

435 Loop!

Some of you might know that I went to school for creative writing. I love writing in all forms, but I've been sticking to lyrics since I graduated from school ten years ago.

Well, as of last week I'm writing again in other formats. I'm participating in a blog called 435 Loop - it's a round robin group of KC-area writers. We write in turn, and each person has one week from the date that the person before them published to publish something new of their own!

Laurie, my co-instigator in this endeavor, just published a sizzling, sultry piece called Cottage Cheese: A letter of Passion. It's pretty damn fantastic, so go check it out!

- Jesse Kates / the Sexy Accident > listen on iTunes

your legs grow

this song is kind of killing me a little, today.



making a new friend is an awesome thing, and i am glad to say that i am doing it.

- Jesse Kates / the Sexy Accident > listen on iTunes

Good gravy we're busy!

Whenever you see this blog go a little quiet, rest assured that something's going on!

In this case - many somethings!

We just got back from a trip to Chicago and back. We rocked Cal's, which was a ton of fun. Got to meet a cool band (the Flavor Savers) and some cool people. Ate at the Chicago Diner, which as a vegetarian was pretty awesome (The Veggie Reuben is killer!), and at Java Joe's in Des Moines, which is a super cool coffee shop.

The Wednesday before was spent at the Blue Fugue in Columbia, where we met St. Louis band The Livers and their incredible Drumming/Bass playing cats! We also ate at Shakespeare's pizza, which is apparently a local favorite.

So why did you not hear about these gigs in our normal e-mail newsletter? Well, my credit card was used fradulently, and I had to have the number changed. In the shuffle, our account with our e-mail provider was disabled 'cuz they had our old card number. So the e-mail list will be back up for Oct, but is MIA for September.

Our next gig is on September 18th in St. Louis at the Delmar for the Play:STL festival. Hope to see you there!

Keep on keeping on,

- Jesse Kates / the Sexy Accident > listen on iTunes