Thursday, February 14

The morality of Whitford

Adam Perry, former Whitford drummer and general musical genious, asserted today that he acquired his sense of morality from our short-lived instrumental band. As a result of that statement, I assume that these are his beliefs -

- Song titles should be long and should reference nerdy movies
- A bass is better with eight strings on it
- For an audience, suffering is a valid musical experience
- Saxophone should be used in every song, unless your sax player is feeling pissy
- All public performances should occur in spaces that are 1. cold, 2. unfit for human occupancy or 3. covered with mirrors.
- No show should ever be attended by more than six people, some of whom will be drunk and will sing along to your instrumental tunes
- When somebody says "I made this for you" and hands you a wad of garbage, you should accept it

Jesse Kates *