I'm just trying to help me like you

Muhahaha. I have written the most offensive song EVAR! For now, you get lyrics -

I'm just trying to help me like you

I called you up
to let you know
some things that I've learned since I let you go
well for one, you're much better than her
yes it's true

but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things that you
could. choose. to. do.

there's one thing about her I adore
yeah her stomach is flatter than
flatter than yours

oh don't you get
an attitude
since when is honesty being rude?
at the end of the day I'm just trying to help...
...me like you

like before
when we'd go out
and I'd block the cake you could do without
I can't let you weigh more than 100 pounds!

but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things that you
could. choose. to. do.

like learn to pick up for your man
and have you considered a
spray on ta-an?
spray on tan!

I kinda want
to be with you
as long as you change
a thing or two
I recognize
you're sorta cool
I might even try
to be true to you

just take this time
to exercise
focus on slimming
those pearly thighs
if you do that
it'd be the bomb
and you'd look a
little less like your mom!

I saw you out
the other day
with your new guy did he choose to pay
for your meal?
i would never do that!

so when you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things that you
could. choose. to. do.

like could you get rid of your man?
'cuz how can he treat you as
well. as. I. can?

I kinda want
to be with you
as long as you change
a thing or two
I recognize
you're sorta cool
I might even try
to be true to you

just take this time
to exercise
focus on slimming
those pearly thighs
if you do that
it'd be the bomb
and you'd look a
little less like your mom!



- Jesse Kates / the Sexy Accident > listen on iTunes